Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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