Non-Jews are for practice
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
this beer tastes like vomit already
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
