So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize