Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I need a beard to bite.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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