if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
