I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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