She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
