ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
