Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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