I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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