good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
