ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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