even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
