I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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