I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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