Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize