It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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