Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im ready to get crazy and take my wig off

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  (978): im ready to get crazy and take my wig off http://tfl.nu/0nn5
  Replies (4) Good night (1301) Bad night (737)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night

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  (301): Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night http://tfl.nu/y3ii
  Replies (45) Good night (3678) Bad night (806)
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  (951): View more from California

  ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am

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  (951): ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am http://tfl.nu/357a
  Replies (17) Good night (3269) Bad night (1396)
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  (315): View more from New York

  in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."

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  (315): in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me." http://tfl.nu/9q0b
  Replies (4) Good night (3999) Bad night (717)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"

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  (337): All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!" http://tfl.nu/qrwa
  Replies (44) Good night (8444) Bad night (1560)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.

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  (920): Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp. http://tfl.nu/avvb
  Replies (2) Good night (1496) Bad night (734)
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  (562): View more from California

  He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.

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  (562): He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break. http://tfl.nu/ad1k
  Replies (16) Good night (2403) Bad night (740)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.

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  (203): Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker. http://tfl.nu/9u82
  Replies (4) Good night (900) Bad night (397)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.

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  (416): He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco. http://tfl.nu/xwo8
  Replies (4) Good night (663) Bad night (385)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.

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  (405): Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro. http://tfl.nu/hr0t
  Replies (1) Good night (832) Bad night (340)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip

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  (310): I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip http://tfl.nu/scxm
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (345)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.

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  (651): This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline. http://tfl.nu/s47z
  Replies (0) Good night (431) Bad night (706)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."

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  (630): my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation." http://tfl.nu/ju2j
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (339)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you

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  (816): If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you http://tfl.nu/tk9b
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (236)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed

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  (727): Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed http://tfl.nu/f4j9
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (259)

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