i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity