Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(803): View more from South Carolina

i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.

Fav 39 7211 1938
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.

Fav 8 3975 1119
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.

Fav 16 5978 1164
share tweet
(918): View more from Oklahoma

Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.

Fav 13 3841 1123
share tweet
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(718): View more from New York

Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?

Fav 6 2588 1234
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.

Fav 3 2498 840
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.

Fav 10 1701 797
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(905): View more from Ontario

I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...

Fav 2 859 476
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity

Fav 0 453 553
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT