If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
