hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
