This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
