Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You're like the curious george of whores
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
