and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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