sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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