OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
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debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
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I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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