he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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