Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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