If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize