I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
