worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
