I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
