Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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