so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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