Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
