I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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