i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
and you fell through a lawn chair
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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