Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
