Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
