I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
