How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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