I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
