i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
