My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
