IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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