Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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