Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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