i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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