Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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