How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
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Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
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So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.