Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
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he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
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Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.