I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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