matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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