so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
