bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
