Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
