It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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