No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Holy sore nipples Batman
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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