ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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