I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
