You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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