woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
