ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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