his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
