I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
