Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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