If that was your dad, he is hot
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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